I’ve forgotten the taste of crunchy.
My mother brought home a jar of crunchy peanut butter, she thought it was creamy.
It was the greatest week.
This ends now. Today is my day. I’m getting my crunch on.
Bruce just LOVES this blog!
A lot of jokes are just really bad. Instead they refer to them as riddles.
But riddles are supposed to be more puzzley.
”What is the brightest fish?”
”The Sunfish“
This was in a riddle book I found. This isn’t a riddle at all.
It’s just a dumb question.
I think the real riddle is finding out why this was called a riddle.
I NEED more clothes with lightning bolts on them.
“We hit some turbulence at around 20,000 feet, but I was able to smooth it out. Real smooth. Like buttah”
The biggest mistake you can make in a food eating contest is reaching for the utensils.
Esteban
In the future I become so manly, I become a bear.
This is my son, soon he too shall transform.
Swim in it.
Dear TGTBTG,
Long time reader, first time writer, so please excuse any bad punctuation I’ve never done this before. I thought I would begin writing with the highest form of literature: a fan letter. Ever since I was about a year or two younger than I am right now I have read your blog; and it has satisfied my voracious, insulin-dependent appetite for comedy. When you told me to celebrate damp earth I spent the next week in a hole, and loved at least the first forty-five minutes of it. When you went on a space pirate adventure I stowed away on a Russian space rocket in hopes of glimpsing the glorious crew’s exploits. When you said you were busy working at camp I remained in the fetal position for three months. When you advised me of the trap laden photo booths I burned them all down. Now I am in prison; but I know in my heart it was worth it. All I want to say to you, Ian and Esty, is that you have ruined my life in the best possible way. Thank you
Sincerely,
Daniel Spielman
P.S. please pick up this faithful reader in 2-5 years
Working in a hotel is okay. The pay is fine, and the benefits are a little more than mediocre. I just ask you to remember people love to poop in the bed.
It’s terrible
